Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
