I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
