i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
My bed smells like the plague
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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