Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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