Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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