I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
