I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
