What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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