it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
