weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
