u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
