No, drunk sperm still make babies.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
