omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
