Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i dont even know how to be here
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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