C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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