I hate all girls vehemently.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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