just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
