One girl and one boy is just not enough.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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