we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
