My first STD was from a foam party
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
