where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
there is glitter all over my balls
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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