I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
