Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
