Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
