Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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