i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
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