You're earring is so big in my mouth
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
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America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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