Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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