just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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