Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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