If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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