He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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