Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
