I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
