im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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