I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
