i love accidental penises.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
