I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
