hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
