I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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