Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
