What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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