she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Randomize
