Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
