READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
How does it feel to date your dad?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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