I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
