I swear she didn't look like that last week.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.