It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object