Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize