I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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