have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
