Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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