There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize