Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I am naked and annoyed.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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