and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
