the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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