I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
