I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
