last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize