I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
