My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
