Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba