We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
