her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.