Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
