You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I smell stomach acid.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
