i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
