She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
