don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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