Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
