i would punch a child for taco bell
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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